Ok, this explains a lot.
2000: Razor Scooters. Remember these things? They’re still pretty hot, amongst the kids I think. However, personally, I rank these right up there with those shoes with wheels in them. I mean, really – how fat are we trying to make the future generation by telling them they no longer have to walk…anywhere. To quote Chandler on Friends, “Here kids – roll your way to childhood obesity!”
1998: Furbies. These things are scarier than Elmo. That is all.
1997: Tomagotchi. Ok, finally, something I can relate to. This little Japanese wonder once captivated me, as well. Let’s see…1997…I was 14 and probably too old to care about this electronic egg baby, but I did. It was on a key chain, fit easily in your pocket, and you had to feed it and clean up huge piles of poop, therefore fostering and growing this little egg into a…Tomagotchi? It just occurred to me I don’t know what that is, really…a dog, a cat? Who knows. They eventually outlawed these at RCHS becuase we students were more concerned if our electronic egg babies were growing, than we were with our Pre-Calculus assignment, which made them even cooler, of course. Anyways – when the sucker died you could start over. However, according to Esquire, some owners found it too cruel to “start over” and buried their Tomagotchi in real pet cemeteries. I’m embarrassed to have been a part of this movement, now. Some weirdos ruin it for the rest of us normal people who just want to clean up our electronic pet’s electronic poop!
1996: Tickle Me Elmo. I’ve spoken my peace here.
1990: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I think I used to have a crush on Donatello. He was the purple one, right? Cowabunga dude. AND, I can’t not mention this – how delicious did the pizza always look on the cartoon? Josh and I always wanted to eat cartoon pizza…it looks so cheesy and delightful!
1985: Care Bears. I friggin’ love the Care Bears. But…you know how something seems so normal and wholesome when you’re a kid, and then you re-watch it or re-visit it as an adult and it seems really scary and strange? Yeah – thanks Esquire – check this out if you dare: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lNm5Hqow78I. I had the same experience with the movie the Labyrinth when David Bowie dances around to that song “The Magic Dance.” I used to love that part of the movie and danced around singing along – but a few years ago I caught the movie again on TV, and after throwing up in my mouth a little bit I realized that Bowie is apparently not wearing underwear under his white unitard. Ah childhood innocence.
1984: Transformers. These things were awesome. Josh and I used to shoot them (and G.I. Joes) with BB guns. Then Megan Fox had to come along and make it even more awesome.
1983: Cabbage Patch Kids. This was the year of my birth, so it’s no coincidence maybe that I’m so partial to these fat bald babies. I had my fair share of Cabbage Patch kids and thoroughly enjoyed them. However, this may be one of those things again that kind of scares you as an adult. See below and particularly that one on the right that’s about to Chucky doll that girl’s face off.
Ok, this takes it back 26 years to the year of my birth, so I’ll stop here, but there are more treasurers in the full article if you want to read it.
Last thing I’ll say is, where were the Popples dolls? Does anyone remember Popples? Those things were AWESOME. I mean, their legs folded up into their own butt pouch and they became a legless, top-heavy, ball of Care Bear-wannabe joy. I miss the Popples.
And Fraggle Rock.